Sniffed Out
I once knew this kid who was dumber than snake mittens and just about as useful. He came into our government class claiming that you could still smell the tea spilled into the Boston Harbor during the Boston Tea Party.
My government teacher spent the next five minutes explaining to him that that was physically impossible. This kid, after some deliberation, seemingly grasped the concept of time and relented on the topic…or so we thought.
Not five minutes later, he said, “I bet you can still smell it when you’re underwater,” as certain as a man can be. Now at this point we were juniors in high school and for the first time in my life, I was in utter disbelief that a person could have survived under the sheer force of their own stupidity up until that point.
Class was completely derailed at this point with the teacher trying to explain to him why you can’t breathe underwater but to no avail.
Bless his heart he tried. He said that he didn’t want a student drowning because he didn’t understand you couldn’t smell underwater, but the kid was dead certain.
After that year in class with him I never saw him again. Probably drowned.