Friendship Over
My closest friend for the past 15 years, who was my maid of honor, decided against bringing her family to my wedding, which was out of state. Instead, she insisted on taking off early from my reception or else bring her six-month-old to the ceremony. She made this revelation to me barely two weeks before my wedding.
We talked about it. She was under the impression that she could walk down the aisle holding her six-month-old. She had no alternative plans if the baby happened to cry, and didn’t think it was a big deal if the baby wailed through the whole thing. I told her it was.
So, she gave me two options: her baby comes with her or she arrives late and skips the rehearsal dinner. I opted for the latter. Her reaction gutted me. She was upset because she thought my choice was inappropriate. At that point, she distanced herself and didn’t talk to me for a week.
So, that’s the scenario a week before my wedding. Then she finally breaks the silence and communicates with me. By this point, my patience was wearing thin. I had made several compromises, and she wasn’t acknowledging them.
I’d arranged for her meals and accommodation. All she had to take care of was her dress, which cost $99, and her flight fare. I even got a restaurant that caters vegan food for the rehearsal dinner, since she’s vegan. I always made it a point to be there for her, rejoicing in her moments of joy.
I organized a birthday celebration for her during our middle school years. I was by her side when she delivered both her children. I also helped arrange her baby showers.Was it too much to aske her to spare one weekend for my event?
The turning point was when my husband asked, “What has she done for you lately”? I realized I didn’t have an answer. So I made a big decision. By the time she chose to stop avoiding me, I’d already replaced her as my maid of honor.
I told her that she was no longer invited to my wedding and that our friendship was over. Despite my profound affection for her, with days of crying, I decided to draw the line. She has been incredibly self-involved, and I no longer want to constantly worry about her issues.