71. Oh, That Went Well!
Not a bridesmaid but was at a wedding where we had a bridezilla, maidzilla, and MIL-zilla all at once.
Dad and I watch the run-up to the wedding go down the toilet basically from the start. MILzilla and maidzilla are flipping out at just about everyone for such incredible slights as ruffled hair and small creases in clothing. MILzilla specifically had a tantrum at me that my hair was a mess because I had been sweating.
It was 90+ degrees in a California summer, at an outdoor wedding. Of course, I was sweating. Maidzilla made the mistake of yelling at my dad that he was too tall for where he was supposed to stand in the pictures. Unfortunately for her, Dad was a drill sergeant in the 82nd for almost a decade. The ensuing shouting match went one way, and one way only.
Day of the wedding: The ceremony went fine, much to my surprise, and we got to the party. Most everyone is having a decent time. Except Bridezilla, who was intoxicated and taking issue with the music. Music that she had picked out in advance.
In the span of the party, she picked no fewer than four fights with the DJ, who eventually threw his hands up, put the music on shuffle, and came out to the patio to get drunk with me and the misfits.
Oh, and maidzilla tried to offer my dad, who was a DEA agent at the time, some cocaine to “lighten up.” That went well.