I Am Only Human
I resent my seven-year-old stepson and feel like he ruined my life. I waited a long time to get married and my husband is my dream man but his son has severe behavior problems.
He lives with us the majority of the time. His mom is in and out of his life and when she is around, she really messes with his head. I try to be understanding and loving but I am only human and I’m exhausted.
He destroys everything in sight when he doesn’t get his way—smashes toys and rips curtains off his wall and digs holes in his walls with his scissors. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Every time I try to decorate the house and try to make things look nice, he ruins the things I bought. I bought him new pajamas the other day and paid way more than I normally would because he loved them and really wanted them.
Within an hour of them being delivered, they had three massive holes through them and he thought it was funny. He laughs when I get hurt.
The dog jumped on me and I hit my head on a table and he laughed hysterically. When his dad tried to correct him and tell him it’s not ok to laugh at people when they are hurt, he said he didn’t care. And it doesn’t end there.
He almost slaughtered our dog while I was in the shower so now I can’t leave her alone with him. I took him to visit my family and he hurt their family pet and we haven’t been invited back since.
He says cruel hurtful things to me and his dad constantly, and when we tried to talk to him about it, his response was downright chilling…He said enjoyed hurting people.
He has no empathy, he is always angry, he lies about everything, he is manipulative and very falsely charming around people who don’t know him well.
Every time I see a story on the news about a kid assassinating their parents, I wonder if that is my future. I had to quit my job that I loved to be here full time to care for him because no one wants to babysit him.
We have him in counseling. We have talked to his doctor. It’s not getting better and it seems to be getting worse. I had a total mental breakdown several months ago and seriously considered suicide.
I am now on anti-depressants and anxiety medication. I go to counseling regularly and am doing everything I can to keep myself sane but most days I don’t want to get out of bed.
I always feel like my chest is going to explode. I’m overwhelmed, exhausted and I don’t see any hope of it getting better.
I’m open with people around me that things are hard, but I feel like if I admit that I resent him and that it is getting harder to love him then I will be viewed as a bad stepmom. So I keep going. I do my best to correct the bad behavior.
I shower him in praise when he does something good. I love him when it’s hard and hope that I can make a difference. But, I cannot shake the resentment when I’ve given up everything and there is nothing left of the person I was before I got married.
Story credit: Reddit / kayej33