Poker Face
I play poker a lot. In one casino, there is a ridiculously loud obnoxious jerk who plays regularly. He fist pumps and yells when he sucks out on people. Totally uncouth. To top it off, he is a larger guy and he tries to physically intimidate everyone. Now, I am not a small guy in the slightest, but when I’m relatively clean-cut, I look very unintimidating.
I am polite and friendly, know most of the dealers and half the patrons by name. What this jerk doesn’t know, however, is that I know how to handle myself both in a battle of verbal wit and physical fists. So one day, he was being his typical self and I finally had enough. He is verbally berating another player at the table for their “terrible call.”
So I just burst out: “Mike buddy, I’ve been meaning to ask you. How’s that violent case of herpes?” The table sits in silence. He never bothered me or anyone else the rest of that month.
Story Credit: Reddit/3rdramdeep