An Awful Speech
I’m a woman, and was a groomsperson for a male friend of mine at his wedding. I should’ve guessed that trouble was afoot when he told me all about the awesome minister he’d gotten for the wedding who had demanded that he and his bride stop sleeping with each other for 6 months beforehand. Neither the groom nor the bride are particularly religious, but the minister was a total Christ-packer and way into traditional gender roles.
I show up for the rehearsal and the minister can’t seem to figure out that I go with the groomsmen. He keeps telling me that I belong with the bridesmaids. Finally another man explains to him (very slowly) that I’m in the groom’s party. Whatever. We run through the ceremony and the bride explains that there are certain parts of the traditional vows she’s not comfortable with. Everyone takes note.
The next day, things get off to a great start when the groom shows up to the wedding and then disappears. Apparently there was something wrong with the A/V equipment and he went out to get a new cord, instead of having someone else do it. He finally arrives and is sweaty and unkempt. Us groomsmen hustle him in to his tux and into the ceremony, where people are already starting to freak out. But everything should be fine from here on out, right? NO.
The minister (who the groom loved because of his feisty sense of humor…) starts things off with a lengthy speech about marriage and how men are like this and women are like that. And by “that,” I mean “screeching, gold-digging harpies who can only be temporarily silenced by appeasing their lust for gems and other shiny trinkets.”
The bride is… not happy. Then when they get to the vows, the minister deliberately makes her go through the part she’d specifically mentioned the previous day as something she didn’t feel comfortable saying. As in, he says it, she doesn’t repeat it, then he repeats himself. Twice. Finally she gives in and says it. So much awkward.
Story credit: Reddit / foul_dwimmerlaik