Deadbeat Dads Who Are Still Better Than Your Terrible Dad

Royal Tenenbaum, The Royal Tenenbaums

Royal Tenenbaum literally lies to his children about having cancer so that they’ll hang out with him again after he treated them all like shit their entire lives and abandoned their mother. He told Margot when she was like, 11 years old that the play she wrote, produced, and starred in wasn’t “believable,” and refused to acknowledge that his daughter ahd created complex characters within her show. He also shot his son Chas in the hand with a BB gun and took his grandsons out to a dog fight for fun. Luckily for him, his kids love him enough to forgive him before he dies of a heart attack, engraving his tombstone with the words, “Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship.”

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