Monster-In-Law
Back when my awful sister was planning her wedding, her even worse mother-in-law wanted to be a part of it. Unfortunately for everyone involved, this woman wanted her family traditions involved. The food…okay, the giant line dance…okay, but then she sprang the big one on my poor mother. It was apparently a tradition in her family that unmarried older daughters had to do a dance in a pig trough at the reception.
Well, my sister and brother-in-law thought that would be hilarious. Being that I was the only unmarried older daughter…So funny. My poor mom was getting torn down by this mother-in-law—because it was just a JOKE. That was repeated and insisted on in every single phone call. Meanwhile, my mom is just trying to protect me from that spectacle and wasn’t telling me.
But finally, I saw her crying and she told me what was going on. But there was one thing they weren’t counting on. At that point, I was only a short time out of a very horrible relationship. I didn’t remember how to say “no” yet, but I did remember how to say “I’m taking you all down with me.” And oh boy, did I ever come up with a genius plan.
I told the mother-in-law that I’d be happy to do that dance in front of her entire family…undressed. And only undressed. Suddenly, it wasn’t so funny anymore. Eventually, they all shut up about it, but that was the last time that woman ever spoke to me. It’s been 12 years, by the way.