Do As I Do
I do not drink. It is not a personal choice; it’s because it started to make me sick in my early 20s. It got gradually worse and in the end, one sip of anything gave me stomach cramps and hives lasting a week and I ended up in hospital. I had a gastroscopy and some tests. Nothing wrong was found with my stomach but apparently, my bloodwork was off the charts.
The doctor said there was a possibility it could end up in anaphylactic shock if I drink again. So I thought meh, no big deal, guess I’m not drinking ever again. Well turns out it’s a massive deal for my family. I thought simply saying no thank you when offered a drink would be enough. I did tell them it makes me sick, but they said to stop making stuff up.
In my family, if you are not drinking you are not being “social”. I’ve never been much of a drinker even when I could drink, but for them, it’s normal to empty 3-5 bottles of the hard stuff and 4-6 bottles of vino as a group of 10 in one afternoon. The last time I saw my family, we were all sitting in my aunt’s garden and the usual started: Aunt: What do you want to drink?
Me: Water, please. Aunt: Ahh don’t be silly, your husband isn’t here, what do you want to drink? Me: Water please Aunt: Are you pregnant? Me: No, I’m not, can I just have water, please. Aunt: Your husband doesn’t allow you to drink? Me: What? He doesn’t care. I just don’t want any. Can I just have water please? Aunt: Did you drive here?
Me: No, I walked. Still, I don’t want to drink. Aunt: Alright I’ll bring you some water. A few moments later she put a glass of clear liquid in front of me and said here you go. I picked up the glass, and it was cold. Great, it was a hot day. I took a gulp and swallowed—before I realized the horrible truth. It wasn’t water. I asked her what is that!?
She shrugged and said “Cinzano and tonic” and winked at me! I sat there in bewilderment, not sure what to do or say, so I just stopped talking, trying to take in what just happened. I started to feel unwell soon so I made my excuses and left. I spent the night throwing up, sweating, and shivering, but thankfully I felt ok in the morning and didn’t have to go to the hospital.
Now, I am going back to my hometown for the first time in two years. Please tell me, am I being silly when I don’t want to see this aunt ever again? I feel like I’ve been violated in some way but cannot quite put my finger on it. Am I making mountains out of molehills? Am I being too sensitive?