The Black Sheep Of The Family
I’m a 39-year-old woman who is successful and quite well-off. My siblings, sadly, are not. My brother, who is 42, has three children. My sister, who is 35, also has three with another one on the way. My youngest sister, who 28, is married and pregnant, but she had nothing to do with the events of this story. In fact, she’s the one member of my family I’m actually close with.
We were all raised to believe that money doesn’t matter and that all you need is a happy marriage and lots of kids to live a happy life. Being poor and having lots of kids was somehow glorified. Maybe because that’s the way our parents lived and wanted to convince themselves that they didn’t mess it up. Fortunately for me, I didn’t buy into that nonsense.
I always knew I never wanted children. I focused on my career and on achieving success. Today I have my own house, wonderful pets, and a loving boyfriend. My family, however, seems to think that there’s something wrong with my lifestyle. My parents have often commented that my five-bedroom house is empty without any kids running around.
My siblings often tell me I’m selfish for not having kids and actually enjoying my life. However, their disdain for my “selfish” lifestyle doesn’t stop them from begging for money. My brother and sister have called me and asked me to help pay their bills. Now, if it’s something serious like clothes or school supplies for their kids, I’m willing to pitch in. But they have more ridiculous demands.
They’ve asked me to pay for trips to amusement parks etc. I always refuse. I also pay for my parents to stay in a high-end assisted living facility. They’re my parents, I owe them this much. However, I can’t help but feel insulted when they sing praises for my siblings for breeding and following in their footsteps and how my parents wish I had done the same.
As if, among all their kids, I’m the biggest disappointment. For this reason, I’ve distanced myself from them. I only call or visit to check up on them and don’t let them be a part of my life. The other day, I got a call from my sister asking if she, her husband, my brother, and his wife could come over. I said OK. I cannot believe this new demand that they made.
They asked me to leave my fortune to their kids, in equal portions. They said if I did, they would stop asking me for financial help. They said this as if they were doing me a favor. “You don’t have kids, so who’re you gonna leave it to?” asked my brother. I told them I was going to leave my money to charity and that I don’t owe them anything at all.
When they went on the “you’re selfish” rant, I told them to get lost. The next morning, I got a call from my dad telling me they were disappointed in me. I simply hung up. These people decided to have kids they can’t afford and actually have to ask me for handouts every other month. But somehow they think they’re so much better than me. The delusion is really something to see.
I should add that my middle sister had her first kid at 22. My brother became a dad at 26. My sister decided not to get her college degree and became a stay-at-home mom. My brother’s wife is also a housewife. They are raising soon-to-be four and three kids respectively in single-income households. It’s like hitting yourself in the foot and then wondering why there’s blood on the floor.
But I’m proud of my youngest sister. She finished her education, married a great guy, has a promising career and she says she’ll have another child only if it’s feasible. Unsurprisingly, she too has been subjected to snide remarks for “placing money over children”.