Survive Then Thrive
A bit of background, I am married with two biological daughters and just adopted my son. He is nine months old and has been in my care since he was six months old. His birth mother is my cousin, and we had talked about adopting him when she was pregnant, but she was shamed into keeping him by her mother. There was never a father in the picture.
My cousin also has a daughter (three years old) from another man. The baby is born and it was a hot hot hot mess. My cousin never held him, underfed him, left him in the car seat all the time (which ended up giving him a flat head), and moved in with a horrible man. My cousin’s mother didn’t do diddly! Which I know it is not her responsibility, but she pressured her daughter into keeping him so badly, but she isn’t even going to make sure he is eating right?!
Some serious stuff ended up happening between them. The baby ended up getting passed around, her mother didn’t want to take care of him, some other family members didn’t want to take care of him, and finally my cousin asked me if I still wanted to adopt him. I did, and I love him very much. This was a closed adoption, as in the birth mother doesn’t want pictures, updates or to see him at all.
This is easy to do, as we weren’t that close to begin with. I got him caught up on his medical checkups, he has a helmet to reshape his head, he is gaining weight, and emotionally he is doing so very well! He is smiling, laughing, saying mama, and just loves cuddles and kisses—I am sure because he never got them. Until it all came crashing down around me.
See, apparently, APPARENTLY, per the former grandmother and a few other family members, I am depriving him by giving him a stable and loving home instead of letting him float around to awful family members. They also hate that I’m enforcing new family title roles, such as his former grandmother is now aunt, not grandma. Yes, I am the one depriving him….give me a break! He is thriving in my care!