The Father Of The Groom
Two years ago, I got married. It was a casual wedding; we had it up north at my grandparents’ ranch and for the most part, it was nice. Except for the fact that my father can’t let go of a divorce that happened 20 years ago and has no idea how to act civil. My parents got divorced 20 years ago, my mom was getting tired of him being a jerk and left him.
He still has not gotten over it and always has something to say about my mother on Facebook and in person. A week before the wedding, my father sent me this long text message saying he didn’t want my mother to “ruin his childhood home with her presence” and that “her and her family are not welcome at the wedding”. He also added that because his parents own the house, he has reason to exclude my mom’s side from the wedding.
I had to remind this man that A) She is my mother, she is allowed at my wedding, B) I’m not excluding my grandparents, aunts, and cousins from my wedding because you’re petty, and C) You don’t live in that house anymore, it’s not your wedding, and if you don’t like it you don’t have to come. He didn’t like my answer, so he cried to my grandparents.
He said that they were “betraying him” by having the wedding at their house. I was delighted by their reply. My grandparents told him he should stop acting like a child and attend his own son’s wedding. So he pouted about it and decided to go. On the day of the wedding, we picked separate seats for the two of them so my dad didn’t throw a tantrum over having to sit next to my mom.
The ceremony went fine without any interruptions from him…and then it turned into a nightmare. Because then we had the reception. Jesus. Christ. This. Man. My mother still talks to my dad’s side of the family since my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather were close friends growing up. There is no awkwardness or tension between both sides of my family…except for my father.
Everything’s going well at the reception, my wife and I are just vibing at the table with our food and my uncle and my mother are at the table with us. And then my father comes over. First, he asks my uncle “what the heck is he doing at the table”. My uncle shrugs and says that he’s just having a conversation with people and not “sulking in the corner because he’s bitter”.
My father tells him that my mother isn’t allowed to interact with his family and he should have pushed her away when she approached him. My uncle told him that he’s an adult and he can do whatever he wants. This only made it escalate that much further.
My father then tells my mom that she needs to leave and that “he won’t allow her in his presence”. My mom just stares at him and goes back to her conversation. He yells at her to leave louder and she continues to ignore him. My uncle tells him to screw off, and my dad tells him that if he doesn’t tell “that witch” to go away that he’ll flip the table over.
I obviously don’t want him to do that, so I tell him “Dad, since you obviously can’t be civil at your own son’s wedding, I’m going to ask you to leave”. He huffed and told me that America is a free country and that he had every right to stay. So, my uncle got up from his seat, grabbed his arm, and dragged him out of the tent before telling him that if he decided to come back the authorities would be called.
The next day he sent me a long message demanding an apology from ME and saying that what I did humiliated him in front of the entire family. I told him that he humiliated himself because he’s petty and can’t let go of a divorce that happened 20 years ago. C’mon man, you’re 56 years old and you’re acting like a child, get a grip on yourself.