Restraining Order
I was never very close to my parents and two brothers. My dad is pretty horrible and clearly preferred his sons over me. He would take them camping, rock climbing, etc. However, I wasn’t allowed to do any of that because according to my parents “that’s not for girls”. My mom often berated me for not being girly enough because I watched action movies, read superhero comics, and wanted a career instead of becoming a stay-at-home mom like her.
She said I disappointed her by not following in her footsteps. To top it off, my older brother could always get away with picking on me because “boys will be boys”. He would take away my comics and would be allowed to keep them until I found a safe place to hide them. Growing up, these comic book characters (Batman, Catwoman, and Wonder Woman) were my safe place.
The one relative who I felt understood me and actually gave a darn about me was my mom’s cousin, Fred. Fred was also my dad’s business partner, and we’d see him quite often. He agreed to take me climbing with his kids, would buy me comic books and didn’t ridicule me when I got zits. I’m closer to his kids than I ever was to my brothers.
I was able to move out of my hometown at 27 and haven’t gone back since. Nor have I seen or had any kind of contact with my family. I even got Fred and his family to promise not to reveal my whereabouts to my parents. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Fred has passed due to a massive heart attack. I came to his house to pay my respects and to help out with the funeral.
As expected, I ran into my family. When my mom saw me, she started crying. She tried to hug me but I pushed her away (not hard). My dad demanded to know why I hadn’t come home to visit them for all these years. My oldest brother was accompanied by his wife and two kids and the younger one by his fiancé. They tried to introduce me to them.
I just said a polite hello but I honestly felt nothing. I just don’t care about them anymore. My mom tried to guilt trip me by crying again, but I told her to show some respect for Fred and to not make a scene. After the funeral, Fred’s daughter took me aside and told me that my mom had been pestering her mom to divulge my contact information.
She asked if they could give it to her just to get her (my mom) off their backs. I didn’t want this family to be troubled, so I said yes. Sure enough, the next day, my mom called me and again began to berate me for missing my brother’s wedding and the births of his kids. I tore her a new one. I told her she had done nothing but make me feel like a subhuman.
I said that they were misogynistic, hypocritical narcissists and had no business raising kids. I reminded her of every humiliation I endured while growing up in her home. I was never treated as a part of her family when I was a child, so why was she bothering now? She kept bawling and telling me I was being cruel to her. Before I hung up, I told her if she ever harassed me again, I would get a restraining order.