I Have No Words
I have just realized how much my husband doesn’t have my back and I’m at a loss for words. The issue occurs whenever I recount my life story to anyone and mention that I lived in three countries. My husband has been triggered by this lately and tells me that “this is not impressive and it’s not that many places” and “you think it makes you better than everyone else”.
I currently live abroad again, in HIS home country where he spent his life and I previously lived for a year, and he has also told me “Just tell people where you’re from and that you lived where you’re from, you don’t have to tell them anything else”. What?
So he wants me to hide facts about my life? He is offended that I love my life. However, he tells me that my history is not impressive and when he sees anyone who responds to it with interest, he tells me that I embellished the experience (not true either, I tell true stories and I love to share). Weeks ago, he also told me that “someone who lived in 30 countries is impressive and your history is not”.
By the way, we live in his home country because he didn’t want to leave it, and he never lived abroad himself. Also, I don’t know anyone who actually lived in as many as 30 countries but if I did, I would be impressed. I recently told one of his family members about living abroad and my husband entered the conversation to tell him that I didn’t live where we currently are, in their home country, “for that long”.
I’m coming up on three years here and lived here previously for a year with my family (moved back to get married) but I never said it was longer than that. I later told him he entered that conversation to try and undermine me, as if I were some liar. He said he just wanted to tell the guy that it hasn’t been that long. And then he told me that I should “get real about your life experience” and “someone should put you in your place when you talk about your life”.
I am not speaking to him this morning. The sight of him disgusts me. I told him last night that he didn’t put me in my place but lost my respect. I can’t even believe he attacks me in such a childish way. I just don’t understand this, and why this is a trigger. I asked him what the problem was last night and he says I think it makes me better than everyone else.
I never said that, I don’t school people on where they should live, I love people’s stories about studying or living abroad and traveling, and I have the right to love whatever I want about my life and share it with people, especially when it doesn’t hurt or embarrass him. I just have no words.