We’re Not Family Anymore
This happened three years ago, but recent events have brought it back to light. After a year of dating, my sister finally introduced us to her boyfriend. It didn’t take long for me to feel disturbed. Major red flags all through dinner. The dude turns out to be my sister’s commanding officer in the National Guard. He keeps talking about his kids, and how my sister hasn’t met them yet.
He also talks about how he lives with his folks about an hour away so he can only see my sister on weekends. Anyway, about a week goes by and things still feel wrong. I decide to google the guy after our mom brings up how she thinks he’s married. Sure as heck. Dude has a wife, three kids under 10, and a picture-perfect Facebook life all the while.
I bring it up to my sister. I was absolutely floored at her reply. She tells me she knows about it, gets all angry for me being in her business, and tells me to drop it after saying they’re really separated but staying married for benefits. Another week goes by and I feel awful. So, I call the wife, as her phone number is listed on Facebook.
We talked for a few minutes and I ask a few questions about her husband. She confirms they’re married, confirms he lives there, and basically she’s a happy housewife whose husband travels for guard work every weekend. I told her I’d met her husband through my sister (no names or identifying information) who introduced him as her boyfriend.
I told her they’d been seeing each other for over a year. I also sent a photo I’d taken during dinner and apologized for being the one to drop that in her lap. I told her as a wife, I really hope someone would do the same for me if the roles were reversed and I truly mean it. She was sobbing, heartbroken and furious. Well, the dude called my sister, super angry that one of her siblings had told.
She immediately sent me a text stating we are no longer family, that I’m an awful person and I ruined both their lives by telling his wife. My mom and other sister joined in on the disowning saying I’m a homewrecker and need to mind my own business, my sister is an adult and able to make her own decisions. No one is willing to listen when I say I didn’t do it to get my sister in “trouble”.
I purposely left her information out of it. I just don’t understand the point of cheating, especially with young kids at home. In all, my whole family stopped talking to me. My mom and sisters were texting my husband about how awful I am, and how he needs to send me to a mental health hospital, but he put a stop to that right away. My friends have been super supportive, but my family blocked me from everything.
My mom won’t even talk to my kids (her only grandkids) because they’re going to be like me.