48. Too Loud
Towards the end of my time at uni, I worked extra for the English department invigilating exams. Basically, setting up the exam hall, handing out exams, checking IDs, collecting the exams.
They usually hired senior students who had already passed those exams, but on one occasion, they decided to use a guy who was studying in a different department.
So he and I set everything up, got the exam started, and settled in for the wait. The guy quietly tells me he might take this very class the next semester, and the exam looks pretty easy, so could he sit it now as well?
Me: What? Hell no!
But he was insistent, so I told him to step outside and call the department secretary and ask her if he could. Not because I thought there was a chance she might say yes, but because I needed her to hear this nonsense from his own mouth, and the no from her might shut him up.
My cunning plan worked perfectly. He came back all forlorn, telling me she said no, and later when I was debriefing with the secretary, she told me they would not be using him again.
She was as stunned as I was by his lack of sense.