Uncoolth
Not a waitress any more, but my favourite was a woman who frantically waved me over one lunch service. It was a fairly hot summer’s day. The conversation went like this: Me: Hi, can I help you?
Her: Yes, we need some coolth. Me: I’m sorry? Her: WE NEED SOME COOLTH IN HERE. Me: I’m sorry, I don’t know… Her: COOLTH. COOLTH. THE OPPOSITE OF WARMTH. DO YOU EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH?
Insert rant about “why can’t they hire proper staff who speak the language etc etc.” This was in Australia. I’m Australian. Blasted 18* air-con directly on her the rest of her meal. butforevernow