I Wrote My Own Destiny
I was on a teen tour across the country. We were about 40 teenagers on one coach bus going across the USA for 40 days over the summer. I didn’t like any of the people, but I was the group clown, and my repertoire of strange voices, faces, and jokes always entertained people. It was nearing the end of the tour, and we had just been in Park City, Utah. At some point during the trip, I found the book Before You Leap in a book store, which is a two-part book.
The first part is the autobiography of Kermit the Frog, and the second part is a guide to life written by the Muppets. So, of course, I bought it on the spot. That day, I was reading it on the bus and enjoying it. One of the girls on the tour came up to me with her two friends and started asking me to do a voice. Normally, I would oblige, but this time, I said, “Sorry, I’m busy right now. Come back later and I’ll do it then, okay”?
The girls started insisting more and more, and I just showed them the book and said, “Please, I’m reading a funny book right now. I just want to enjoy it at the moment”. The girls still kept insisting. After saying “No” several times, I ignored them. Then, things started to escalate—Not liking this turn of events, the first girl decided to start hitting me repeatedly. It was a minor annoyance, and I ignored it.
Then her friends joined in, but I continued to ignore it. The hits got harder and harder, and I politely told them to stop. They said they wouldn’t unless I agreed to do the voice. Then, they started to hurt. I respect women and believe in gender equality. I also think gender equality means women should take the good with the bad and not get any special treatment.
I’m also a believer in self-defense. So I backhanded the girl that started it in the face. Of course, the only person on my side that day was me. The counselors forced me to the front of the bus, where I enjoyed my book in peace.