Fragile Masculinity
This post is about my cousin’s ex-girlfriend. Back in 2003 (if my memory serves me right), my cousin began dating a woman who was smarter, nicer, and way more successful than he was. As the outsider looking in, I never quite understood why she chose to be with him. More than that, my aunt and uncle (my cousin’s parents) never treated her with the respect that she deserved.
In fact, they despised her for being able to outshine their precious prince in every way possible. My cousin’s chauvinism too would rear its ugly head and he would pick fights with her over the dumbest things. One such fight that my dad and I witnessed was him telling her not to accept a job offer that would pay her double what he was making at the time.
About a month after that, my dad received a call from her tearfully telling him that my cousin had left her for another girl. And what’s more, he did it over the phone. She said she knew who the other girl was and that she was probably with my cousin when he broke up with her, as she could hear her voice. They had been together for two years at this point.
This sad excuse for a human being didn’t even have the decency to break up with her in person. My family’s reaction was despicable. As expected, my aunt and uncle defended their son. According to them, it was obviously his girlfriend’s fault for “not knowing her place”. My cousin’s new girlfriend couldn’t hold a candle to his ex in terms of talent and accomplishments.
But she did stroke his ego and didn’t threaten his super-fragile masculinity, so he ended up marrying and having a kid with her. Fast forward to now, my cousin was laid off from his last job. The circumstances of his dismissal are not known to me. But there is one juicy truth. What I have found out is that, at his new job, his boss’s boss…is the woman he had betrayed and humiliated years ago.
I can only imagine what this is doing to the jerk within my cousin and I cannot help but smile when I think about it. I learned all this from my dad. My dad is still in touch with one of the former girlfriend’s uncles and we decided to get her number and get in touch with her. Yesterday, my dad and I face-timed with her for nearly an hour.
She asked me about my life and I told her all about my job, my boyfriend, etc. She said she was happy for me. She told us she had been happily married for eight years now and had two daughters. She looked confident and radiant. I jokingly asked her how she planned to punish my cousin. She laughed and said she would probably thank him for breaking up with her and making her realize that he just wasn’t right for her.
Her smile was that of someone who has completely healed. Someone who can say “thank you for doing what you did to me, my life is better because of it”. The sense of pride and vindication I felt was almost overwhelming. She had won and she bloody well knew it!