Nature’s Payback
We didn’t have a traditional wedding as we couldn’t afford it. Besides that, my parents would not give us any money. I knew they wouldn’t but gave it a shot since I was the first child to get married. We also lived five states away at the time. We settled on a date two months out and I called my parents to let them know about the news.
Me: I just wanted to tell you that we are going to get married at the courthouse on that Friday’s date. Mother: Ok. Sounds good. Father: That won’t work. Pick another date. Me: …Well, we already paid and booked it. There is a fee to change it. Father: Well, deer season starts on that Monday. I am not missing opening day because you can’t be reasonable.
Me: I am not changing the date because deer season is more important to you than me. You can fly in on Thursday and leave Saturday and still have plenty of time to be ready for Monday Father: No. You are just doing this so I can’t go hunting. You are being so selfish to want to waste my hunting money on you. Yes, he seriously said this.
Me: Ok, dad. Your deer season is way more important than watching me get married. I do not want you there. I want my day to be happy and with you there it won’t be. I will mark you down that you won’t be here. Mom, will you, brother and sister come? Mother: Your sister will, but your brother is going to hunt with your father. Me: sounds great. Hangs up.
“Father” did not come. I gave myself away. My mom and sister came. They were so happy for me. The best part was that my “father” and brother did not get one deer that season! I laughed until I cried and my sides hurt.