Maid of Horror
I am getting married in about two months. I sent out my wedding invitations recently and at the bottom, it says “ADULTS ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS”. First, let me say that I love kids. But my fiancé and I made the decision to not allow kids/babies to our ceremony because they get bored, cry, won’t sit still, have tantrums, and I just don’t want that to happen during our wedding.
We’re also going to have an open bar, and I don’t particularly want a bunch of drinking adults around my little cousins or my friends’ children. But this backfired almost immediately. My cousin Sam texted me last night saying: “So you’re seriously telling me I cannot bring my son to your wedding”? To which I said…yes. I really wasn’t expecting her next response.
Sam responds: “Then I can’t come and that kills me. I just want you to know how badly I want to be there and I have dreamt my entire life of standing next to you at your wedding. But I just can’t want to be somewhere with someone who doesn’t want the other half of my heart there”. She’s trying to guilt-trip me into letting her bring her son.
Saying things like “and I’ve confided in my best friends and they say it’s your wedding it’s your right to have it the way you want, but yeah. I just want you to know it’s not vengeance when I don’t come. I’ll probably cry the entire day”. I suggested that she take her son (he’s seven) to his friend’s house for a few hours so that she can attend.
She says “I can’t just tell him no and leave him somewhere. I’m not strong enough to do that to his sensitive little heart. I could, if he wasn’t so aware and sensitive. It would hurt him too much. He’s too smart to manipulate”. Um. I’m not asking her to manipulate her son. I’m asking that she be an adult and tell him he can’t come and that children aren’t allowed to attend. But there’s something else at play here.
Not to mention, she’s angry that I didn’t choose her to be my Maid of Honor. I chose my stepsister. While on the phone, Sam said “I don’t mean any offense by this, but SCREW HER”. She’s literally only mad about this because my dad cheated on my mom 10 years ago and married the woman he cheated with. She hates my sister because she hates my stepmom.
I ended up being on the phone with her for half an hour talking to her about this. With her constantly telling me “I’m trying to get sober, so I just wanted to talk to you and tell you how I feel”. Which to me sounds like she’s going to blame me if I still tell her no, and she decides to fall off the wagon. We ended the phone call with her saying “Will you just promise me one thing, even if it’s a lie? Will you just promise me that you’ll consider it, and that you’ll talk to your fiancé about it”?
So I told her yes, that I’d consider it and talk to him about it. And I did. I talked to him, and I’m not changing my mind.