St. Patrick’s Day Got Out Of Control
I was attending a St. Patrick’s Day celebration with my college friends back in the day. We were on Chicago’s south side, where the Irish Catholic crowd takes their “St. Paddy’s Day” very seriously. We arrived around 7 am and the party was already in full swing with coffee spiked with Baileys, beers, and Jell-O shots everywhere.
The atmosphere was electric as everyone was in high spirits gearing up for the downtown parade. As Jell-O shots started running out and a few early birds headed to catch the train, all remaining Jell-O shots were stored in the refrigerator in the basement, right next to the washing machine.
In a moment of stupidity that even now I can’t completely justify, I decided to fill an empty Jell-O shot cup with laundry detergent. The resemblance to a blue Jell-O shot was uncanny. I casually placed it on the tray with the rest and returned upstairs.
Within five minutes, we heard a shriek from the basement, followed by retching and more shrieking. Turned out a girl had consumed it, or at least attempted to.
Suspicions were directed towards several people by her boyfriend, but I was just one among the hundred guests—nobody suspected me. We departed roughly 20 minutes later and hopped onto the train. Unluckily, at a train stop, I grabbed a bottle and got spotted by a cop.
The train was packed and it took the cop a while to navigate through the crowd to get to me. Using that time, I took off my jacket, hid it under the seat, changed my seat and acted like nothing happened. Surprisingly, the cops went straight to the girl’s boyfriend who had a hidden bottle in his jacket and they arrested him for underage drinking.
That was by far the wildest day I’ve ever had.