Clever Move
A couple of years ago, I had a bit too much to drink at a house party. Despite my inebriation, I ended up spending the night with a lovely girl from the party at her place—quite a surprise given the way the night was going.
Fast-forward to the wee hours of the morning, around 5 AM. I woke up to find myself lying in a large puddle of my own urine. I’m not usually prone to this sort of thing, but given the excess of beer consumed, my control faltered that night. A sense of mild panic set in—especially as this girl was quite well-connected within my circle of university friends.
This was a disaster I wanted to keep secret, but the large pool of evidence was proving to be a problem. Thankfully, it hadn’t seeped over to her side, so she remained oblivious. For the moment, I decided to put things on hold till daylight.
I fetched a towel from the bathroom and placed it over the wet spot to limit its spread and cushion myself for the next few hours of misguided sleep. The next morning, awakened by the light, I found her awake and engrossed in a game on her phone.
She was still unaware of the transgression, and I managed to keep her away from the soggy towel and its secret. To my dismay, the towel remained soaked and a solution was still needed. After a quarter of an hour in silence, I worked up the courage to ask the girl to fetch me a drink of water.
She extracted herself from the bed, surprisingly did not notice the situation, brought me a glass of water, and dove back into her game. As she focused on the game on her phone again, I sat up and sipped a bit of water. Seizing an opportunity when she wasn’t looking, I ‘accidentally’ spilled the remaining glass of water onto the stained mattress.
With a quick “Darn!” I pretended to discover the towel beside the bed and gently dabbed at the water and urine mixture. She was a bit startled by this sudden flurry of activity, but to this day, she believes it was my clumsiness, not incontinence, that caused the stain on her mattress.
After the successful execution of my plan, I promptly bid her farewell. We cross paths on occasion, but we do not engage in conversation.