He Hated Himself
It was too late to pull the plug now. There was no way out for him. He couldn’t back out after weeks of online chats, which he used as a substitute for the therapy he couldn’t afford.
He was angry with himself for finding the woman attractive. The hate was rooted in his perception of himself. What if she only showed up to laugh at him? Over the course of thirty years, he had endured such a reality.
There was only one person he could blame: himself.