#45 Vape and Escape
Oh god. At my cousin’s wedding, her maid-of-honor was a complete and utter mess who said she wasn’t going to give a speech, then drank a bunch and insisted on it. She stood up and opened up her phone to the “notes” section and just started reading down this list of memories and then going off on tangents and then going back to the phone and saying “Whoops! lost my place. Where was I?”
Her stories were AWFUL. They were about how she loved my cousin so much and hated the guy she married and how she thought he’d ruin their friendship, but she learned to tolerate him. It went on and on until one of my aunts started clinking her fork against her glass to get her to shut up and everyone started doing it and the DJ had to come and turn off the microphone. So this girl sits down, crying, and opens her little purse and pulls out one of those GIANT vape pens and takes a big pull and then just chucks a massive cloud in the face of the groom. It was amazing.
Credit: knutmeg