#68 Three at the Altar Is a Crowd
The ceremony for my cousin’s (the groom) wedding had the most obnoxious priest. I think he was related to my cousin or a long time family friend. The whole ceremony became about him. Before every reading, he would explain what was about to be read for like 5 minutes, then after the reading, would explain it again for another couple minutes before explaining the next reading.
He gave terrible advice like “If you’re having problems, don’t talk to each other, talk to me. You have my number.” He mentioned multiple times how he had recently moved to Illinois (where the wedding was taking place). Even between the vows he had to throw his two cents in. After my cousin said, “I Do” he made some comment about “Oh, I thought you were going to do it with more gusto like when you’re cheering for the Bears. I DO!!!”
At the end, he just had to mention himself one more time: “And by the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, which I am now a resident of, I now pronounce you man and wife.” What could have been a 30-45-minute ceremony ended up taking 75-90 minutes.
Credit: SiN-Fury