How Dare You?
I’m a funeral director. This happened. We brought a man into our care who had passed from AIDS complications in 1999 or so.
His parents were immigrants from Eastern Europe who were very conservative and had not known their son was gay. He had moved to Milwaukee from their little town in the sticks about ten years earlier.
Cancer was what his mom and dad were told he passed from. His friends in Milwaukee had their own services that the parents didn’t attend, and I worked with the parents on a Mass of Christian Burial and interment in his hometown.
The deceased’s brother and sister met with the priest and asked him not to mention their brother’s “lifestyle” during his homily, and explained why. He agreed.
So, the Mass starts, and the normal rituals get going, and then it’s time for the priest to speak at length. A traditional Catholic homily in a conservative church like that one isn’t a normal eulogy.
Its purpose is to “bring glory to the Father,” and if the deceased is spoken of at all, it is about his or her devotion to God and how that was evident from earthly actions.
The priest got to a certain point in his pretty much boilerplate remarks, and then took an audible breath and told everyone that he was feeling moved by the Holy Spirit to speak freely.
My stomach dropped—but it was too late to do anything. He spoke about decisions that people make that are contrary to God’s Plan, and how that inevitably results in corruption, and you can probably guess the rest of it.
He never actually mentioned AIDS or sexuality, but it was pretty much right there if you read even a little bit between the lines. He did not go in procession to the cemetery, rather went in his own car and was waiting for us when we all pulled up.
I don’t think I had even turned off the engine to the hearse when the brother got out of his car, rushed to the front of the line of cars, and got in the priest’s face, who then drove away without performing the burial rites.
I was told later that the brother went with, “How dare you?” and the priest countered with, “I follow the Spirit. I had no choice.” Honestly surprised the brother didn’t lay him out. There are some things that happen at work that you just wish were happening on your very last day on the job.
Story credit: Reddit / Kleptophobiac