It’s What He Would Have Wanted
It was my grandfather’s funeral and somehow that one family member…you know the type…found out about it. To give a little background, he’s been an alcoholic for decades and it has definitely damaged his brain. I’m sure he was very nice before but I’ve only ever known him in this way.
Now to the fun part…He showed up in jean shorts and a tee-shirt with a bald eagle and American flag on it. He also started clapping about two minutes into the service at the church during total silence.
His interaction with the ushers went something like this, “Sir you have to stop clapping,” “Wooo,” with more furious clapping.
“Sir you must stop, you’re disrupting everyone and it’s disrespectful,” “Well I think it’s really respectful.” The usher was so baffled he just walked away. But he was just getting started…
During the bagpipes, he tried to dance. While we were driving to the graveyard, he began to play the banjo which was visible through his open window, veered to try and hit a soccer ball that rolled into the street, and then forgot he was in a procession and got out of line and sped away.
He started singing during the burial and the priest had to reprimand him. Twice. My personal favorite thing that he did was throw the rose on the casket while screaming, “HERE YA GO YA WIZARD.” We can only assume because my grandfather was a science teacher.
He got cut off at the wake so went to get his 12 pack out of his truck. He got angry with my mother for cutting him off so he barked at her like a feral dog.
The room fell silent and my tall mother stared at this short little man and told him to, “Sit down and shut the heck up or get out.” It was honestly one of the most hilarious funerals I’ve ever been too and I take comfort in the fact that it is 100% what my grandfather would have wanted, believe it or not.
Story credit: Reddit / Outofprintluv