Going broke for the bride
I am the maid of honor for Julia’s wedding.
Julia has always had selfish tendencies, but friends kept her grounded. She has always expected people to pay for her, but is frankly non-reciprocal when the tables are turned. Since moving to a new city and meeting her fiancé, it’s been hard to manage her expectations.
Julia’s fiancé is great, but he has enabled her selfishness because he is financially well off. To paint a picture, he pays for everything — $12k a month on rent, $10k a month on gifts, vacations and a $200k wedding.
They are having a destination wedding. I spoke with everyone about their budget for her bachelorette. Most said 1-3 days and $200-$500. I thought this was really generous. Myself and one other bridesmaid could max afford $1000.
Julia wants to go somewhere “epic” for her bachelorette for a week. When I priced out what she wanted, it was $2000-5000 per person. When I told Julia this was “too big of an ask” she cried, called me selfish and made comments like “I would do this for you!”
I explained that spending money is a big sacrifice because we don’t have the same financial freedom as her and we would not expect our loved ones to take a financial risk for our benefit. This was met with spite.
Now I’m being called out for being cheap and not supporting her special moment — I’m stunned at how everyone is behaving.
Is it really fair to expect others to spend that much for wedding events? Is it fair to expect a maid of honor to pay for other people’s costs to meet the bride’s expectations?
Am I missing something?
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