29. HE MAY NOT HAVE HAD SCHISTO, BUT HE WAS CERTAINLY SWIMMING IN DENIAL
I had a patient come in with several pages he printed off the internet. He kinda slammed them down and said, “This is what I have.”
The symptoms included bloating, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, bloody stool, and fever among other things. He insisted he had Schistosomiasis. He was being a real jerk about it like we’re wasting time since he already knew what he had.
So I asked when did he get back from Africa. And he said, “Africa? I’ve never been to Africa. What would I be doing in Africa?”
I proceeded to tell him that Schistosomiasis is a parasitic disease one gets while swimming in the Nile River or other rivers in developing countries like in Southeast Asia. He got mad at me because he thought I was mocking him. He was seen and diagnosed with gastroenteritis (the stomach flu). The bloody stool? He had hemorrhoids.
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