Military Wives Who Ended Up Being Total Karens

How do you define a Karen? They’re typically overly-entitled middle-aged women with way too much time on their hands to start trouble with unsuspecting victims. The Karen’s in these real life stories are also military wives, which has somehow upped their sense of entitlement to the nines.

Besides acting like they rule the world, many of them also keep some pretty dark secrets from their husbands, who are none the wiser about their wives’ atrocious behavior.

Covering Her Tracks

I used to be in the Marines. One day, I got a phone call telling me that an officer’s wife was in the hospital. The situation was apparently really bad.

Someone had broken into her house on the base. She was nine months pregnant and had been attacked so badly that she was rushed to the hospital. It was so bad that she lost the baby. I was pretty shaken up and went to the hospital with a bunch of the other officers to check up on her.

I had no idea what I was getting into though.

I got to the hospital and one of the nurses gave me a strange look and said, “I can’t wait to see how this unfolds”. I was totally confused—but soon it would all make sense. The wife had an ultrasound and a blood test when she was admitted.

That’s when we found out the insane truth.

She wasn’t pregnant, wasn’t attacked. Her “due” date was tomorrow, and turns out she’d been pretending to be pregnant the entire time. She beat herself up and made up this huge dramatic story to cover up her lie about her pregnancy to her husband.

You won’t believe this, but three months later, the same Marine got back together with his wife – even after all the crazy she pulled.

Speeding Ticket

I once stopped the same woman three times for speeding in a school area. I let her go without a ticket the first two times, but on the third time, she started crying. She said her husband was away on military duty. I let her cry for a bit while I jotted down notes.

It felt like a scene out of Hot Fuzz. Finally, I asked her how her husband’s deployment had anything to do with her driving fast in a school zone.

She looked at me in disbelief and then went silent. I gave her the ticket and walked away without saying a word.

The Nightmare Continues

I’m no soldier, but my brother was. We lost him in 2011 and his funeral was a total mess. His wife gave my mom a hard time and had us all stuck at the back, claiming she deserved priority. For eight long years, she’s been hounding news channels and government bodies, asking for more freebies as a gold star widowed wife.

By now, she’s bagged two houses, cash worth six figures, and several TV shout-outs. And get this: she knew my bro for just two years, and they were hardly together from their first meet-up till his death. She just pretends his family doesn’t exist and stomps on our efforts to get a look-in.

She’s lost all support from other gold star wives and makes it a point to put down other fallen heroes.

The last word my bro had to say about her, about two weeks before his death, was that he’d be ditching her as soon as he hit American soil, because she was just “an absolute nightmare.”

Forgetting Something?

I used to work as a gate guard in Washington DC. Once, this officer’s spouse drives by, hands me her ID, and I let her through. She hangs around, though, asking if I missed something. Confused, I replied that I didn’t think so.

When she told me what she meant, I almost laughed in her face: She claimed I failed to salute. She pointed to this blue sticker on her car’s windshield – a sign that I should salute the officer.

Here’s where it gets more hilarious. I leaned closer to the windshield and saluted the darn sticker, wishing it a sweet afternoon. End result? I no longer work as a gate guard.