Dear Mr Important
“Dear Mr Important, I understand you drive a flashy, brand new Nissan Altima and you don’t want the paint job to be scuffed & dinged up by the crappy Toyota Avalon parked next to you, but since you perfectly double parked, I had to park 2 blocks away and carry ice cream in this scorching heat. My ice cream melted and you ruined my day. I hope every time you eat ice cream, it melts, and you think of me… for the rest of your important life. Have a lovely Saturday.”