She Stole His Heart and His Mattress
I was 21, came home from work and everything was gone. She left a milk crate, the tiny TV, a trash can, and the boxspring to the mattress. I didn’t actually know that she left me, so I called the cops and told them that someone stole everything, including my girlfriend. I was pretty hysterical, but the 911 operator was able to calm me down and inform me that my girlfriend most likely left me.