The Sibling Rivalry
I’m the oldest and was an overachiever (for various unhealthy emotional reasons), and while my sister was still very smart and capable, it was always:
“Oh well, K is the smart child, and we’re so proud of her.”
For other various unhealthy emotional reasons, my sister became a heroin addict, and then it was
“I love her, but I don’t like her – I’m so glad we have you.”
Ironically, I, too, had an opiate problem. My sister got treatment young and went on to get her master’s and is incredibly smart and successful in her field.
It took me another 8 years or so to get the substance abuse help I needed due to their denial for years when I said I needed to go to rehab.
In the end, we’re both doing great. I’m coming up on 7 years sober, but I don’t think parents realize the damage forcing these traits on their children can do.
I love my parents and truly believe they did the best they could, but it took YEARS for both of us to get past these resentments, and we were lucky enough to come out okay on the other side.