The List

I have a list.
- I wish I aborted you too.
- I wish I put you up for adoption.
- List all the bad things about dad and then immediately tell me I look/act just like him.
- What did I do to deserve such a disrespectful child? Why couldn’t I have a good one? (I was not a bad kid at all, always home, cleaning the house, cooking for her, good grades, people pleaser, etc.)
She wonders why I never talked to her about big things happening in my life, why I put 5,000 miles in-between us, and why I haven’t returned home for almost 10 years.