48. The Effect Of Heartbreak
Went to a tournament in a different city for the weekend and decided to come home early because I had some bad luck and lost. ( little did I know it was about to get worse ). I arrived home early Sunday morning instead of the evening.
Also, this was my birthday and 2 days away from our 4 year anniversary. I came home to find her with another guy in our bed. I never had so much emotion run over me at once. It was like a tidal wave of fear, anxiety, anger, depression, confusion, and betrayal had slammed down on me, and I was drowning in it.
I didn’t know what to do, so I just said I was done and left. I went to my mother’s house to crash for a few days and get myself together, and when I arrived, I found my mother high on heroin with my high school best friend.
The tidal wave hit harder this time, and the drowning sensation became more intense. I didn’t know what to do at this point and lost it. I punched my once-best friend as hard as I could, then just left.
I found a real friend who was willing to let me crash for a while. I was emotionally numb for months, feeling nothing was better than feeling something. It was too soon to try and process all that emotion.
I eventually got my crap together, though, and I’m in a much better place. I’ve become a sous chef at one of the nicer restaurants in town and have officially moved out with my girlfriend of one year.
Sorry for the rant and this may have taken a different turn than most posts. But something I haven’t shared with anyone and figured I should let it out.