Spit Attack
This lady was speeding through the parking lot at my apartment and nearly hit some dude walking his dog a little ways up from me. Being the classy gal that I am, when her car zoomed by me, I reared back like a cobra, hawked up the biggest, greenest wad of phlegm and horked it right onto her windshield.
I had gotten into my car to go run errands when she comes flying back around the corner, slams her car in park, and starts advancing screaming, “DID YOU SPIT ON MY CAR?!” In that moment, I could have admitted to my deed, and I don’t know what overtook me so I did the first thing that came to my mind.
Instead of looking incredulous or confused and dissolving the situation, I blew her a kiss… I drove off with her wailing and chasing me down the street trying to punch my window in. One of my finer moments. CowtheHankDog