He Established a Pattern
Prior to the divorce, my ex established a pattern of asking me to sleep with someone else which were usually threesomes with friends of his, mine, or ours.
He got increasingly demanding and moody until I conceded, then reacted with extreme insecurity, jealousy, or possessiveness, and needed reassurance afterward until it happened again.
It destroyed me as well as all of my in-person friendships and I still don’t understand why he needed to go through that psychodrama over and over or why I didn’t leave sooner. He really just wanted an on-demand smut service and couldn’t take no for an answer.
And he also couldn’t stand the thought of me having feelings for anyone other than him. Yet he consistently thought I was waiting to cheat on him or abandon him. Shortly before I filed for divorce he broke into my apartment twice.
Once because he “wasn’t done talking” and then because the apartment complex director told him I couldn’t legally kick him out of the apartment. He harassed me while I was sleeping, called the authorities and DCF because I blocked him on Messenger.
Then he chose to publicly throw a couple of punches and an energy drink at the TBI survivor he had chosen as my most recent sleeping partner, as if any of this was that person’s fault. He harassed me again in the backyard while refusing to leave and told the authorities that I had attacked him.
I filed a restraining order and divorce on the same day. Four months after our divorce was finalized and he was granted full custody of our three kids for every school vacation, he decided to move halfway across the country to live with his mother. She’s still taking care of him.
His kids aren’t particularly interested in talking to him and haven’t seen him in over a year. I offered to pay for him to stay here over the summer so he could see them, but he said nah. This is a fair reflection of his level of engagement with his kids prior to divorce, too.
I don’t doubt that he loves them, but he rarely chooses to spend time with them, because it’s stressful. The authorities, lawyers, office of child support employees, and the judge have all responded the same way to his endless “victim” spiel, with a tired sigh, a roll of the eyes.
He continues to think his situation is everyone else’s fault and totally unique. Story credit: Reddit / Burke_no_sleeps