Eating Windshield
In high school I have a very diverse group of friends, and usually bounced around in the lunch room. I got to hanging out at a certain table to spend time with a specific girl. For the purposes of this story, her name is not important. At her table though was a guy named Sean.
Sean had a freshman that had a HUUUGE crush on him that lived halfway between our houses. Sean and I started hanging out a lot, and she would always see us going back and forth and get on her bike and try to ride past us and stalk Sean. One day at school Sean flips out on her, and I call him down.
I understand his frustration, but the way he did it was cruel. From then on, she decided I was her new object of affection. She would ride her bike around my neighborhood when she thought I was home, and always drove to Sean’s when I went over there.
If I turned into my neighborhood, without fail she would hop on her bike and try to make it to my cul de sac before I got in the house so she could wave to me. Sean loved it. One day, I’m over Sean’s house and she comes riding by on her beach cruiser.
After a couple passes, she sees us looking at her, smiling (making jokes at her expense), and so she misinterprets and waves emphatically… BLAM!
She runs headfirst into a parked car and messes her face up. She tries to play it off and smile, but she cut her lips up, knocked out a tooth and chipped one or two others… I put her in my car and drive her home, tears streaming down the blood running down her face…
Blubbering about how much she loves me and how stupid I probably thinks she is. We pull up at her house, and I tell her I don’t think she’s stupid at all. A look of pure benediction melts into place on her face, and she leans in to try to kiss me, bloody face and all.
I pull back disgusted, and she runs into her house crying and screaming incoherently. I look over, and Sean is on her bike near my car laughing, and he saw the whole exchange.
The girl’s dad comes out of the house with a bat, obviously unaware of what transpired and merely reacting to his daughter being jacked up and babbling about the guy(s) outside.
Sean drops the bike and hops in my car, and we speed off. She told her parents we caused her to crash, but Sean’s neighbor saw it all and called the cops when she ‘left the scene’ with me.
It took us some time to get people straight on what really happened bc the rumor mill ran far ahead of the truth, and the neighbor was the only reason we didn’t get blamed for assaulting her.
People at school believed what they wanted to. But Sean and I knew what happened, and I still cringe every time I visualise her eating windshield… Story credit: Reddit / Th3DragonR3born