Oh, Baby
Ever since we had a baby, my wife has been talking like a baby herself. Rather than teaching the baby to talk like a person, it’s as if my wife’s language has become baby-like. She would make noises in between conversations like “Bo-dee-bo-dee-chooop” and “Awowo-fwatata” even when talking with adults. This is especially embarrassing when I am with her in public places, when she talks like that to complete strangers.
I have been asking her nicely to not do that but she would just laugh it off, totally oblivious to how people around us stare whenever she talks like a baby. I have to point out that she is not on the spectrum, just a crazy new mom, in fact too crazy sometimes. It was a day off for us, my parents were babysitting the baby, and we finally have some time to ourselves.
We went out for dinner and she did it again. She was talking to the waiter and went something like this: “Yippy thanks ya-ha-ha-hah. Owoyoyaya by the way can you give us an extra plate for this?” Seeing how the waiter was staring at her, I rolled my eyes and told her: “I am taking a break today and don’t need another baby who cannot even talk properly to look after. Please excuse me.”
Then I left the restaurant without her. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I guess I just snapped.