Run Girl, Run
So, me and my husband Jake have been together for five years and married for three. We have recently started trying for a baby as we both felt like that was the next step in our life together, and three weeks ago I got a positive test back. We were really, really happy and told our families, and now my mom and mother-in-law want to throw a big baby shower for us.
It was just super good news all around. Well, two nights ago me and Jake were getting ready for bed when he reminds me to go through the house and make sure all the lights are off. Now he can be a little lazy at times, and it has become a nightly routine for me to make sure all the lights are off that he leaves on before we go to bed.
I wasn’t feeling very well and asked if he could just do it since he wasn’t doing anything and was literally standing by the door. His answer made me want to scream. He then tells me, “No, this is what is expected of you every night.” I was hurt but I didn’t want to fight with him so I just did it. When I came back, Jake goes on this very long and unprovoked rant saying things like “Just because you are pregnant does not mean anything will change,” and “You are still expected to cook, clean, and do all the chores every day because how can you be expected to be a mother if you can’t handle a little work.”
He wasn’t yelling or anything, he was talking to me quietly like I was two inches tall. I was shocked because I had never heard him say anything like this. The rant went on for about 30 minutes before I interjected and asked, “Well what do you plan on doing to help me with all of this?” He then got extremely defensive saying he works his butt off at his job to provide for me and what is going to be our future children.
For context, I don’t work at the moment. My job was not paying enough to justify me going so I am a full-time college student. He ended by saying that it doesn’t matter how I feel physically or mentally, it is a mother’s job to push through, and if he helped and babied me I wouldn’t be a good mother. This is when I snapped. I got extremely upset and started yelling.
I said that “I wish I would’ve known this is how you felt before I got pregnant with your baby.” There was a moment of silence before he started crying and he left for the night to stay at his mother’s house. He hasn’t been back yet and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have called me, berating me and saying I broke Jake’s heart with what I said and I need to apologize immediately, and until I do he isn’t coming home.