Welcome To The Family
I’m 24 and I’m an addict who has been in recovery for the past six months. I used and used until I was basically in poverty, and my older sister helped bail me out more than once. She’s my best friend and I know it hurt her a lot to see me like that. She also met her fiancé two years ago and he really only knew me as the junkie brother then. He’s not my biggest fan, to say the least, considering how much I put my sister through.
Despite this, she still invited me to her wedding last week because I am her brother and she wanted me to be there. When I get to the reception, my brother-in-law is greeting people as they walk in. When I walk by, he pulls me to the side, and in front of everyone, starts patting me down and says that he needs to check me to make sure I “didn’t bring anything in.”
I instinctively pull away, because why wouldn’t I, and I tell him not to touch me. He tells me to “calm down” and that if I want to be here then he needs to do this. I tell him he’s being ridiculous and I try to push past him. He stops me and tells me that he doesn’t want to throw me out but he “will if he has to.” I told him that he’s trying to look tough but it’s just making him look stupid.
At this point, I’m getting angrier and angrier and I’m practically yelling in his face at this point. Bystanders came between us and separated us and told him to just “drop it.” He said he would but that “they can deal with it when I get out of hand.” I just went to go find a seat after that. After the reception, a lot of my family told me that I should’ve let him just do it and that I was acting like a huge jerk and like I had “something to hide.”
I don’t think he had any right to pat me down, especially in front of people, and I don’t think my reaction was over the top. If anything, he was the one acting like a huge jerk by trying to start drama so he can look tough. My sister has refused to take any sides in this.