My Life is Falling Apart
Hi, so my life is falling apart. A few weeks ago, my father and my stepmother perished in a car accident. They have been married for seven years, and my stepmother had a daughter from a previous marriage who is eight years old.
I love her unconditionally as if she were my own sister and I would fight tooth and nail to keep her safe. She has no immediate family other than her father in the area, so he was going to receive full custody of her.
Except this guy is an enormous jerk. The reason my stepmother left him is because he was abusive, although she never reported it, and the reason he was abusive was because my stepsister was born and he didn’t want a child. As a result, he has never cared about her, never asked to see her, and has never wanted anything to do with her…until now, that is.
I was at home with my stepsister a few days ago and he knocked on the door. I opened it and we had a really ugly conversation about what was going to happen to my stepsister now that her mother and my father were gone. I told him that if he did end up having custody I would want to be seeing her as often as possible as I consider her my family.
He told me, verbatim, “That’s not gonna happen, son. I don’t want my daughter spending time with half caste blood.” He’s referring to the fact that my father is mixed race, and that I am too as a result. I slammed the door. I was absolutely livid. But then I got to work. I got a family lawyer who was one of the most kind and helpful people I’ve ever met in my life.
I told her the circumstances of my stepmom and dad’s passing through tears and sobbing, and then she told me she’d do everything she possibly could to help me. After my stepsister’s bio dad was informed that I would be trying to get full custody, he basically folded within hours. The lawyer told me that it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, though.
She said that because he hadn’t visited her for such an extended period of time that it was considered “abandonment” in the eyes of the law, and the likelihood of him specifically getting custody was unlikely because of this. After her bio dad said he didn’t want my stepsister, I then spent weeks and weeks filing out the right papers and seeing the right people.
I’ve never signed so many things in my entire life. Because my stepsister had no biological family other than her dad, I was given custody on a silver platter, according to my lawyer. Her bio dad didn’t ask for visitation rights, and it appears he didn’t even care in the first place, he just wanted my stepsister for no reason other than to further upset me.
Yesterday, I signed the last piece of paper that confirmed that I had 100% custody of my stepsister. After I signed, we both cried and cried for hours. We’re both working on processing what happened to her mom and my dad. As I write this, she’s asleep next to me with her head on my shoulder. The past two months have hands down been the worst of my entire life.
I consider meeting my stepsister the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and adopting her is the single best decision I’ve ever made. These events have made me realize that family isn’t just DNA-based, it’s actionable investments in the life of someone you love. I hope you all lead wonderful lives. Give your loved ones a big hug for me. Story credit: Reddit / [deleted]