I Mustache You a Question
I did a misdemeanor trial for a guy who drove his motorcycle about 80 mph in a residential neighborhood, passed cars on the double yellow, yada yada. So, he was charged with reckless driving and driving while his license was revoked.
Identity was the main issue because he managed to ditch his bike and run into the fields. Defendant has disclosed to me pretrial that he has an alibi. His friend (we’ll call her “Nicole”) will testify that she was actually the driver.
I get the cop on the stand and ask him if he had any way of identifying the driver. He says, well I saw that he had a mustache (among other things).
The trial results in a mistrial (unimportant to the story). So, we have to start over again.
3 days later we show up to pick a new jury. Defendant shows up clean shaven. He then gets on the stand and claims he can’t grow facial hair. His attorney has the gull to argue in closing that “you know as you get older, sometimes you lose the ability to grow hair.” Story credit: Reddit / Brilliant-Badger