Quoth the Raven
When I was a trainee solicitor my principal had a guy come in who spoke almost exclusively in quotes from US Presidents. This was a specialist law firm in a very English town, and the dude was about as English as it’s possible to be – tweed suit with leather elbow patches English.
He wasn’t initially anything to do with me, but half an hour into the initial meeting my principal wandered into my office totally exasperated (which I’d never seen before) and she said, paraphrasing here,
“You’re a patient man, find out what this loon actually wants. It’ll be a good first case evaluation for you to handle by yourself.”.
I spent two hours listening to him talk. Literally every second sentence began with “As Woodrow Wilson once said…” Or “As Grover Cleveland once said…”. He even managed to quote Taft. I mean, even the craziest of crazy doesn’t quote Taft. It’s… It’s Taft for Christ’s sake.
Anyway after two hours I explained how much the meeting was costing him even though I was just a trainee, and he visibly sagged and said, all blurted out like a naughty child “I poured bleach on the roots of my neighbour’s tree and it fell into my greenhouse. Can you make him pay for the repairs?”
I gently explained why that wouldn’t work, and he cried, so I called the loveliest secretary in the firm who made him a cup of tea and sat with him until he went home. Story credit: Reddit / Crow_eggs