Focus on Us
So, background: My best friend and I met in college and have been best friends since then. We hooked up once years ago. It was a drunken exchange and I honestly chocked it up to we were both drinking and in the right place.
She got ovarian cancer that was stage three a few years back and survived and has been in remission since then.
However, she had to have a complete hysterectomy, and she had mentioned a year ago she was considering surrogacy and she wanted me to be donor as she has been single for a while.
There’s just one huge problem. I am in love with her and I have been for years, but she had no idea. I know at one point she had feelings for me but I was seeing someone then. Out of respect for my girlfriend at the time, she never acted on it.
I felt like before I gave her an answer, which was yes, I should tell her how I feel. I want to make her dream of motherhood come true and I am honestly touched she thinks so highly of me she wants me to be the father. Regardless of how she feels, I would still donate.
Anyway the consensus with my friends was I needed to tell her. We do brunch on Saturdays because she does Yoga Sundays so we met up this morning. I could barely eat and she could tell something was up.
She got worried, thinking I was going to say no or something worse, so by the time we took a walk both of us were nervous wrecks.
I sat her down and told her everything. How I realized I was in love with her several years back but was too much of a chicken to come clean.
I told her that I never said anything because I did not want to jeopardize our friendship. Her face turned white. Then a myriad of expressions came over her face, then she started laughing until tears came down her face.
I honestly was stunned, my stomach was in my throat and I honestly thought that almost 12 years of friendship were down the toilet. Then she started crying, sobbing really, and she lightly hit my chest.
She half laughed and sobbed that she was in love with me too, but she thought that it would also impede the friendship we had and she wanted nothing to screw up what we have. We hugged and I told her that there is no one on this Earth I would want to have a child with but her. We talked for hours.
In fact, I just got home. We have decided that we want to focus on us for now. I want us to be at that point that we can do it together. I know that this isn’t a rom com, and that things could end up not working out for us in the end.
However, I am pretty sure if there is such a thing as soul mates, she is mine.