She’s Everything I’m Not
I came home from work early and found female sneakers in the garage that weren’t mine. At that point, I sort of already knew what I’d be walking into.
My husband has recently become very fit and has been consistently going to the gym, during which he made a female friend who he even brought home for dinner last week. Yeah.
She’s beautiful and thin and everything I am not, which instantly made me feel horrible. So, I talked to him about it. He encouraged me to build my confidence and reassured me he loved me and would always be loyal to me.
I walked into the laundry room from the garage and sort of tiptoed around the house before going upstairs.
That’s when I saw the sight that ruined my life. They were getting intimate. In our bed. With a framed picture from our wedding above the nightstand next to it.
I silently left the room and got back in my car with tears streaming down my face and drove to get food and just sat in my car. I’ve been crying since. It’s now almost 1am (I walked in on them at 7pm) and I’ve returned to the hospital.
He called me asking why I wasn’t home and I told him my shift is extended but in reality, I’m laying in one of the on-call rooms bawling my eyes out. I feel so worthless and ugly and stupid.
I don’t even know how to proceed. On the one hand, I want to divorce him and never see him again, but on the other hand, I feel so gross and the self-loathing is getting too much right now.