Unfair Pressure
My fiancée is the only person I actually enjoy being around. I don’t say that out loud because it puts unfair pressure on her and exposes my antisocial tendencies.
I wasn’t always this way—it kind of happened over the past six or seven years after a deep depression and struggle with substance issues. I’ve been happy and drug-free for several years…but I haven’t been the same.
Whenever I manage to make myself hang out with friends, I generally sit there thinking about how long I should stay before I can duck out and go home without looking unfriendly.
It’s hard for me to have conversations with people because I just think things like, “When are they going to leave me alone?” or “When can I leave?”
I’m pretty good at hiding it and have several people who consider me to be their friends, but I secretly get no enjoyment out of those relationships.
I’m not sure why my fiancée is different, but it makes me very afraid of losing her. I’m almost positive I won’t find anyone else that I will be able to love like I do her.
There have been a few months here and there in the past where we split up and I went out on dates with several other women—some of them were very pretty and very nice, but I absolutely hated the entire process and never followed through on subsequent dates. Story credit: Reddit / Cheese_Pancakes