I’m Kicking Myself
Around a week after I met my current SO, I got a message from my old on-and-off friend with benefits: “Wanna grab a quick drink?” I knew what he really meant (“dtf?”) and I wasn’t sure whether I was up for that.
At this time, my current SO and I hadn’t known each other that long and had only been on one or two dates.
We weren’t exclusive, hadn’t done any of the fooling around. I also wasn’t looking for anything serious—in the autumn, I would be moving out of the country;
I didn’t really want to get too attached, and I saw our relationship pretty much as a fun summer fling. When we weren’t hooking up, my FWB and I are fairly good friends.
I convinced myself there was nothing wrong in going, because I could just catch up with him and leave it at that. What’s the harm in that? I knew I was fooling myself—but I didn’t know how much I’d regret it.
When we met up, he (my FWB) noticed I was a bit more reserved than usual, and I ended up telling him I was kind of dating someone. That’s cool, he says, no pressure; we’ll just have a drink and a chat, and then go our own separate ways.
Needless to say, that’s not all what actually happened. Even though I know my SO and I hadn’t agreed to be exclusive at the time, looking back on it, I feel kind of terrible. We ended up falling hard for each other, and I think it’d kinda break his heart if he knew.
Nobody else knows, and I doubt that he’ll ever find out but…but I’m just kicking myself internally for letting myself screw up the beginning of our otherwise wonderful relationship. Story credit: Reddit / _tallduck