Real Life Stories of Truly Awful First Dates

Never Let Them Know Where You Live

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Just moved to Chicago, was very lonely. This ridiulously hot Russian guy asks me out at the bus stop. 2 weeks later we go on a date. He did tee-shirt designs and I am a pianist so for our first date we were going to give eachother a lesson on our craft.

This was a huge mistake for me. My piano is in my apartment, and I live alone, and I don’t know this guy, but Im young and dumb, he is incredibly hot so I let him in. I should have run then.

Fast forward, the boy starts going through my things, he chokes my cat, knocks my closet door off of the track. Now Im scared and I need to get him out of my apartment in the smoothest way possible.

We leave, and go have Thai food. Why I was still putting up with this, I cannot tell you. He sits on the same side of the booth with me, and burps (with purpose) in my ear, he also conveniently didn’t have any money and I had to buy his dinner.

Oh, and he let me know HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER ON HIM FROM SOME GIRL HE WENT OUT WITH RIGHT BEFORE ME…..

As we left and started walking down the street, he flicked a penny at a homeless person, made fun of the sculptures on the street, and screamed at a lady’s poodle walking down the street. It was then I took off RUNNING away from him. I ran back home, hoping he couldnt remember where I lived.

He did. Someone hours later, let him into my apartment building. I get a knock on my door, I look out the peep hole, its him. I’m about to call the police, but he runs away when I threaten him with it.

Yeah, he blew up my phone for 2 weeks after that. Thought I was gonna have to move.

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